top of page

Being comfortable with Disrespect

Okay Ladies, here's a valuable lesson that I would like to hone in on. This was something that I had to learn the hard way. I kept wondering why I was losing respect and continuing to get disrespected by some of the men in my life.

It wasn't just disrespect, but it was blatant disrespect. Ignoring phone calls for DAYS is blatant disrespect, a least to me. I wish I would have learned this little lesson early on, I could have avoided a lot of heartbreak, and had more success in my relationships with men.

Evelyn Braxton (Toni Braxton's momma) said something that BLEW my mind. " She said, if you catch your man cheating let him cheat in peace, because if you address it, and you don't do anything about it, then you become the other woman." (I know, I lost some of y'all, but let me explain.)

Now, hear me out, I've never been married, but in terms of being single, what she said holds a lot of significance. Let me give you an example.

The fact that I let the behavior of some of these men continue, tells me that I allowed it to happen. There is a wise old saying that says, you teach people how to treat you. I was clearly giving out lessons that didn't benefit me, but them. What would happen, became a vicious cycle.

(HONEST MOMENT) The man in my life, at that particular time, initially did something that I was not okay with. I'd either turn up on them, or I would just be calm and talk to them about it. The kicker is, I would stay, or leave. I would then come back knowing no progress was made when it came to their behavior towards me. (Desperate much?) I really didn't have any reason, to be back. I can't recall them ever trying to make it better in any way. I was basically telling them without knowing, "Hey, you can do whatever you want to me, and I'm still going to be here. I'm down for you and I love you."

If you want to stay, stay! I'm here for the love and working on a relationship with someone who truly loves you, and has your best interest at heart. (You'll know who does) For the rest of us ladies, who are utterly confused with why it keeps happening, it's called, allowing and not setting boudaries! I can prove my point, I was explaining how I felt to one of the men in my life, his exact words were "It must not have been that bad, you're with me right now!" To me this meant, it wasn't really a big deal for you because you're back. Ladies, YOU ARE NOT A TOY. Know your boundaries (what you're willing to take and what you are not willing to take) and when boundaries are broken implament a consequence. It's okay to hold people accountable for their own actions.

Going forward, I now know that it is a cycle, so I can break it, and also SHARE IT! Feel free to send it to a lady (out of love) who might have gone through what I went to. Hopefully, it will help her break the cycle. The word of God says people perish for lack of knowledge. I love you, ladies!! Please feel free to comment and give me some feedback as well!

5 views0 comments
Ayani Tamar-White 2.png
bottom of page