Yani; She always stays mad: Overcoming Offense
I was getting my hair done by my lovely beautician at the time, and she began to share one of her life experiences with me. In the mist of our hair and mental therapy session, she let a beautiful pearl of wisdom slip from her lips. She said, " If a man doesn't want to be with me that's okay, and it's his perspective."
My mouth dropped in amazement, and in that very moment of pulling and tugging, I had an epiphany about "perspective and perception." I realized at that very moment that you can't take anything personally.
Disclaimer: It is a difference between NOT TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY and LETTING SOMEONE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. Don't see things, ignore them, and get played. BE SUCKA FREE.
See, for me, I had a bad habit of what some may call the "D" word. Not the "D" word you are thinking, but Drama. I say "D" in reference to the fact that, I hate to be associated with Drama. It made my skin crawl! To think that as laid back, chill, and passive as I am, my name couldn't possibly be put in the same sentence as the word "DRAMA."
I realized something, I wasn't passive or chill, actually, I was passive-aggressive. The problem with passive-aggressive people is that they will say that they are over it and that we forgive you, but in the back of our minds, we can still harbor negative emotions. We think we forgive, but we really don't.
How I chose to get over offense is knowing that one can not take things personally. People view the world in their own personal way. Their personal experiences shape the way they see each and every situation that they face. Often times, you may not know why something did or didn't work out. For you, you just see the outcome. When it comes to people, and being upset with someone else's choice, we really can't view THEIR OWN PERSONAL choice as an attack on you.
I was walking on the pier one day, and I hate the pier I always think it's going to collapse. My friend, at the time, saw me squealing moaning and jumping with every creak of the wooden floor. He made a radical statement (at least to me) saying "This pier has been standing here for over 100 years. There are hundreds of cars that pass through here daily. Tons of metal, in and out, and you think this pier is going to collapse today because you're on it. That's extremely narcissistic of you sweetheart" Of course I laughed about it, but it made me think. This was one of the reasons why I'm always offended. I had to take into consideration that I'm not the only one with feelings and emotions. I'm not the only one that can be hurt. I'm not the only one that goes through something. Everyone and their feelings are valid. The world does not revolve around YANI (as I once thought) and therefore, I learned not to take anything personally, and I learned how to overcome offense!
If you're not passive-aggressive maybe you deal with offense very differently. If this is you, I'd like for you to leave a comment below about how you personally deal with "offense" because everyone is different. It's always fun to share ideas on helping people overcome problems in their life. If you have someone who needs to hear about offense send them the link to the post!!!